In this article we will focus on what you’re searching for personally and what makes a site “Christian.” Understanding both of these will contribute to your success or failure at online Christian dating.
Who (or What) are You Really Searching For?
It’s easy to jump into online dating with a general notion like “I want to meet someone nice who will understand me.” But isn’t that really what everyone is looking for? Before taking the plunge you need to really think things through. Is dating a casual way to make new friends for you, or is it part of a more serious search?
For most Christians, dating tends to be a bit more focused than it is for non- Christians. After all, casual sex isn’t something a Christian is looking for, and friendships are easy to find within the Christian community. Dating is usually a way to seek out a companion who could become a partner for life (not to mention eternity). This doesn’t mean that the first date has to be an audition for future spouse, but it does mean that you should consider whether the person meets your standards before wasting a lot of your time and his or hers only to decide later that they obviously aren’t appropriate marriage material.
Setting Your Priorities
When you are dating, whether online or not, you should know up front what would be deal breakers for you. At first this might seem obvious enough – you know that you don’t want someone who isn’t a Christian. But there’s more to it than that. Just as there are all kinds of people, there are all kinds of Christians.
Prayerfully consider what aspects of Christianity are essential to a successful relationship. When you are using a Christian dating website you will be able to search based on many different criteria. Knowing what you want will make the process easier. Some questions to consider might include:
- Does the person have to belong to the same denomination that I belong to, or simply the same general Christian traditions?
- How far along am I in my Christian walk, and how far along should the person I am dating be? This can be crucial. If you are a new Christian and still unsure of yourself, dating another new Christian may be difficult. If one falters, the other could be led astray as well.
- What are the absolute deal breakers? Are you an Evangelical Christian? Then you probably will find more disagreements than common ground with a member of the United Church of Christ. One group is firmly in the one woman-one man marriage camp, the other church declares itself open and affirming of gay and lesbian relationships. This is an issue that hinges on the very core of your beliefs as a Christian – do not compromise your beliefs to please another person. Compromising your faith is about salvation – much more important that whether you have a date or not!
Choosing the Right Site for You
With several excellent Christian dating sites available, choosing the right site for you is based in large part on personal preference. There is no one online dating site that is right for everybody or there wouldn’t be so many of them! Sometimes it comes down to something as simple as enjoying the layout or design. After all, the more attractive the site is to you, the more inclined you will be to visit frequently. Take into consideration how the site works for you. Is it easy to navigate? Do you feel comfortable using it? Is the design one that lets you take full advantage of all the features without having to do a lot of stumbling around? Some sites will give you extensive profiles based primarily on questionnaires while others rely mostly
on how much members reveal in their own paragraphs. Which do you feel is the most accurate and revealing of the approaches?
We will discuss this more in part two of this articleOnline Christian Dating – Getting Started Part II
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Good article on Christian dating. Thanks.